Realize your dream of having a family after fertility difficulties [three lessons learned]

How to Take Ownership of Your Dream of Having a Family

Last week, I interviewed an incredibly brave and outstanding woman, Pradeepa, who I have met at a conference. Pradeepa went through three miscarriages, three failed IUIs, and eight IVFs. After all of this, she was able to complete her family through the adoption process. The decision she and her husband made was based on open and honest conversation about their dream, and then being courageous with following through regardless of what others thought or said.

First, a little background on how I was able to interview Pradeepa. I’m an Executive Director of the North American Headquarters for the largest privately-owned medical groups in Kiev, Ukraine. We’re proud of our state-of-the art fertility facilities, an advanced embryo laboratory, and we employ 25% of the medical talent of Ukraine. We have some of the highest success rates in the industry. I have the privilege of speaking with intended parents in all stages of their fertility journeys. 

I found that in this industry, and overall, answering the question: “What Is Your Dream?” is one of the hardest things people do. Yet, each answer is directly related to a person’s success in achieving their dream.

All who experience a more difficult fertility journey have the dream of having a baby. What if I ask you “How much do you believe that you’ll achieve it? What odds would you give yourself? How far are you willing to go? How can you tell whether your chances are good or whether your dream will always remain exactly that – a dream?” To be clear, I’m not asking about the chances doctors have shared with you. I’m talking about the chances YOU are giving yourself!

I believe with all of my heart that YOU DESERVE to achieve your dream. Through others very similar to yourself, I’m learning that one of the big determining success factors is the Ownership of Your Dream.  

Are you living your dream or the dream someone else has for you? When it comes to dreaming of a baby, what are the non-negotiable elements for you? For Pardeepa, adoption was part of her and her husband’s dream. 

For many of our patients, surrogacy is vitally important because it allows for the dream of genetic connection to be realized. There is not one particular dream of a baby that fits all of us. There only can be one unique realization of a dream that matches you. 

Here are three vital steps in Taking Ownership of Your Dream that will keep you going despite the odds:

1. Be willing to bet on yourself. You may succeed if nobody else believes in you, but you will never succeed if you don’t believe in yourself. I know this may be hard to hear when you’re experiencing the lowest times in your fertility journey. As Pardeepa described, there will be times after another failed attempt when it seems as though you take one step forward and then crash down from the height of a three-story building. The level of self-doubt and self-judgement is unbearable. But the moment you stop believing your dream can be realized, you lose. Keep believing in yourself! And fertility coaches, like Pardeepa, can be a great asset here to help you grow through ups and downs without loosing your deep belief in yourself.

2. Lead your life instead of accepting your life – making the right decisions and managing them daily. The power of choice is the greatest power a person possesses. Pradeepa and her husband made a unique choice, and it was the right one for them. Regardless of your choice, the most important thing is that you lead with it.

At Adonis Fertility International, we believe in the power of knowledge. We know the choices we think we have are limited by our awareness of others available to us. This is why Adonis Program Coordinators and doctors strive to expand your knowledge of available options, to elevate your level of awareness, and to answer as many questions as you have. We want you to know every available choice, so that you can lead with YOUR Choice!

3. Don’t compare yourself or your dream to others – comparing yourself with those you see as superior will only lead to you feeling inferior. When you stop comparing yourself with others, you feel empowered. Your success means doing that best you can with what you have – wherever you start. It also means that it’s important to continue exploring possibilities available to you and surrounding yourself with people who hold your success at the top of their priorities.

Over and over, we hear from our customers that they thought something was not possible for them due to cost, health, and other limitations. They’ve been continually pleased and surprised to learn what they thought was a limitation actually has many possibilities.

Ask yourself, “What would I do if I had no limitations?” Or “What would I do if I knew I could’t fail?” Let us brainstorm with you and equip you with options. 

When you truly own your dream of having a baby, you are unstoppable.

The next step is easy! Simply set up a call with one of our Program Directors and let us walk you through how our process would work for your unique situation. 

I believe in you and your dream!


Leave a comment